Man Down!

Until today, I'd forgotten the story.   — 1987.  New York City. —   One of the local tabloids reported: MAN TAKEN TO HOSPITAL WITH RAT BITE!

My friends' reactions could be summarized in "What else is new?"  I was amused by the construction of the headline, 'with' indicating an object to follow.  I began substituting rat-bite with the names of objects. ... with handbag. ... head lice. ... ruby lipstick. ... with nylons stretched over his face. ... yapping dog. ... handgun. ... pizza slice lodged in his pie-hole.  I imagined a rat bite so vicious that the man was stretchered into the Emergency Room with a set of rodent dentures stitching up his leg.  

I read on.   — He was bitten, as British public school boys might say 'whilst downtrouting the loo' as if he were on some sort of fishing get-away, or, as the New York paper put it plainly, 'while sitting on the toilet'. 

Until today.

The face staring up at me looked serene.  The body, submerged, lifeless as something to be found in a biology lab's bell-jar.  Instead, it was in the toilet of my basement restroom.  The seat and lid, both down, when it emerged through the plumbing.  The bowl, offering nothing to cling to. 

I should have taken a picture.  The image would have been handy to have one on memory card rather than burnt into my memory instead, still, given pause to think 'what if it is still alive!' or 'what if it is just waiting for me to come a bit closer?'  A photographic still would have held it there forever.  Not exactly dead, but not alive either.  Over time, I would have set it aside, forgotten it. 

In the present, I just wanted it gone.  But, how to get rid of it?  I closed my eyes and, after a moment of hesitation, flushed the thought: what comes up must go down.

This just in.  A homeless rat inflicted with head lice pulled a pair of nylons over its face, intending rob the pie-hole of every last pizza slice.  He was dying of hunger, he was overheard to explain to an accomplice waiting in a get-away van.  Inside, sitting at a table facing the pizzeria's flat-glass windows, a yapping dog wearing ruby-red lipstick noticed the rat about to enter.  While barking her order at the waitress, she pulled a loaded handgun, unseen below the table, from her Louis Vuitton handbag.  The threatening rat was dead within seconds of entering the pizzeria, even before pushing his demands like a ventriloquist through his own still clenched teeth.  The dog was lauded as a hero by a cat who witnessed events and spoke to this newspaper's reporter on condition of anonymity.

A Broken Glass

Since moving to Europe, we've had access to a wider variety of televised news programming: the BBC, of course; France24; Russia Today; Al Jazeera; India's NDTV; and the American duo CNN International and Fox News; among others.  Only Deutsche Welle, the German news service, seems to be wonting.  But, I suppose that's not surprising given the limited number of channels available to news programming.  France neighbours the United Kingdom.  And, Russia now, rather than Germany, represents the UK's eastern concern.

Al Jazeera offers the most well balanced news, though perhaps giving Israeli-Palestinian issues more time than do the other news outlets.  But, the reporting is still fair.  As one thinks about it, one would have to suspect that it would be fair and balanced.  It has to be, doesn't it, with so many critical eyes from so many perspectives concerned that it would be unfair.  The American - or, rather, United States - news programming is by far the least balanced and, often the most biased.  No surprises there either, I guess.  This news comes from a country that describes itself as "The Leader of the Free World" and "The Last Superpower".  These news outlets don't need to think about how others might perceive them.  If you're looking for a pontificator, the U.S. channels provide them, not just reading the news but telling us what to think about it.

Russian Today comes in a close second to U.S. news posturing.  But, the Russian Federation thinks of itself as "The Other Superpower"; so, perhaps there are no surprises there either.  From Bosnia to Georgia, Russia Today hides none of its punches.  It telegraphed war in Georgia even if it didn't point to the exact provocation of it.  On 29 November 2008, I listened in a state of growing shock to a Russia Today late morning interview with leaders of the Republika Srpska, the Serbian part of Bosnia and Herzegovina, as they lay out a case for independence at all costs.  It was salt in an old wound, that appeared on the verge of tearing open.  I fled the broadcast, channel surfing to the usually placid NDTV.  There, the Evening News was posting reports of gun fire and grenade blasts in heart of Mumbai, India's financial capital.  In no time, we became glued to a news outlet that we thought we'd never watch.

Over on one of the Western European channels, various series on issues arising from the European Union's eastern expansion were airing.  One of these series documented the lives of the Roma people across Europe,  but the focus was on Eastern Europe.  While well done, the programs seemed to imply that issues pertaining to the Roma arose solely out of the Czech Republic, Hungary, Poland, Romania, and Slovakia.  Seemingly unaware Western European Roma, the cultural continuum reported fell behind the old Iron Curtain. 

The year 2006 had been designated "The International Year of the Roma".  Yet, though the series made no mention of it, at the end of two years, Italy had all but just given up its attempts to require the fingerprinting of all of its Roma citizenry.  At least it had not been proposed that Italy's Roma were required to wear brown triangles as was required of in Nazi Germany.  The series' penultimate program announced squarely: "the Roma are Europe's new Jews".  New Jews?  The announcer's voice had the cadance of a Christiane Amanpour drawing a point not to be missed: "the Ro-Ma are Europe's (slight breath) New (slight breath) Jews." 

We should probably leave that one right there, just.  It's fragments, like a wedding glass, fly off in too many directions to be swept up cleanly.  In any case, Europe like the U.S. seems married to its traditional perspectives.